Concluding 2025

Hello hello, I’m ending the year (/welcoming this one?) with a long newsletter.. As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate you all so much! Happy holidays!

🌊 Hi, I’m Sachi, and this is Currents, a newsletter about people, books, and post-nap reflections. If you like this, share it with someone or say hello. Say hello, let’s chat! If you want to unsubscribe, the link is at the bottom. 

Everything is as important as everything else

Here are some mini essays on things I’ve been thinking about lately as the year comes to a close -

1.

How does one even come up with a descriptor for a year? Good? Bad? Lucky? Disastrous? The easiest way to measure a year is by big events that took place and gradually go over smaller ones. It’s nearly impossible to account for thousands of tiny moments that happened during the year in one go in December. I looked through my gallery and notes in an attempt to do so anyway.

I document my day to day in many ways. I’ve been journaling for a long time now but split my (digital) journal into 2 parts a few years ago. (I still have a paper journal for whenever the mood strikes)  One document is exclusively for writing what went well during that day. This is updated daily. It’s a treat to see what happened on a random day and recall something delightful. The other one is for all kinds of processing - rants, to do lists, thinking out loud, or exploring ideas. I have a spreadsheet to keep track of shows, movies, and anime I’m watching with reviews and ratings. I keep track of thoughts I have after meditating. I take copious amounts of pictures. I realize how odd this can seem to someone but I really like to document what I’m doing. I find it so easy to get lost in the flow of tasks, work, and social media that it’s really hard to remember things that matter. This gives me something to go back to. 

I’ve been experimenting with additional aimless documentation in 2025. I started making short videos of myself in January 2025 with no intention other than processing things out loud. Sometimes it’s noting a good/bad hair day, a breakout, a day of clear skin, talking about what I cooked or my feelings. I took pictures of breakfasts I cooked, library books, a tree over the seasons, the novel ways people decorated their front yards, clouds, flowers, cake, and more. Every side quest was documented.

Another reason why I document things as much as I do is for objectivity. In the hardest of times it feels like there’s nothing worth looking forward to. And then I see that a snack or a quick call with my friend made my day. Or that a friend bought me coffee. There was some good to be found in that time. Same goes for romanticizing something that was very painful. I do it more for the former because of my bias for recollecting things that went wrong. How can we most honestly and accurately document our reality? 

Despite all of this, I still don’t know where I stand when it comes to 2025. I got a job, lost it and found another one. I interviewed a lot. I got rejected a lot. I had to move back to India from my dream city. I went to Japan and fulfilled another long held dream of mine. I made many memories with friends across countries. I ate some of the best food. I read and watched incredible things. And in the middle of all of these bigger events were countless side quests, streets explored, tacos eaten, gifs sent, videos made, and voice notes sent over cups of coffee. 

I don’t know how to describe 2025 but it was one hell of a ride. 

2.

There’s this tactic women are acutely aware of because we’ve been at the receiving end of it since we were little. It’s what the aunties at the salon do. It’s to shame someone or be downright rude to sell a product or your service. ‘Your skin is so bad, here’s this serum that I make’ or ‘your hair looks like an exploded broom, let me fix that for you.’ It pops up in a lot of places. We’re casually told we look fat or are offered unsolicited advice because something is seriously and unacceptably wrong with us. How dare a person just live their life in their body for a brief second without mentally attacking every inch? (This brilliant essay goes deeper into how this keeps the beauty industrial complex thriving) 

This goes beyond physical traits too. Grifters online spend hours convincing you to buy their scammy courses with claims to fix what is fundamentally wrong with you. I’ve fallen for a lot of this and feel quite tired of it. The mental energy spent identifying what’s the flaw of the day, feeling bad about it and then using a popular product of the moment to fix it is huge and it makes me feel like I’m dying inside. You can just not be a dick to yourself and the world around you. It is an active choice. And even if every force online is committed to telling me why I suck, I don’t have to do that to myself.

In pilates classes, my instructor told me that she wanted me to do a harder variation because she knows I’m strong and that I could do it. She could have shamed me into doing more reps or attempting something harder. She didn’t. And this doesn’t mean trainers and instructors aren’t supposed to tell you what weakness you should work on, but it doesn’t have to come from a place of demeaning the other person. We can do this to ourselves. Maybe you folks are nicer to yourself, I’m usually not. I’m getting older and no longer care if I’m thin or pretty, I just want to take a nap.

Why can we not take something that works and make it better? Why do we have to start from a place of disliking something in ourselves? I feel the ability to do ridiculous core workouts when my instructor isn’t telling me why my core muscles are weaker than a dead chicken. Just don’t do it, folks. Can we not hate ourselves in 2026? Can we work/ post/ make/ move from a place of wanting to do something instead of hating ourselves? I for one would want to give it a go.

3.

Honestly, the biggest takeaway for me, from 2025 is that there is no right answer. Agonizing over choosing the right answer or worrying you’ve made the wrong choice helps no one. We’re all figuring things out. Advice on social media, and even doled out in person may not be applicable to you at all. Things work out and don’t in weird ways sometimes. What you think of the choices you’re making can be more important than the choice itself.

Instead of doing what’s right, I want to be led by enthusiasm. I haven’t felt genuine and consistent enthusiasm for a while now.  I remember feeling thrilled to open a new book or watch a documentary about a topic I was interested in. I’m not seeking the enthusiasm to sneaky second income to Instagram fame pipeline. I would like to not feel like a dead fish from an enthusiasm and excitement standpoint. I see myself following clues and seeking what is exciting and joyful in 2026.

***

What are you all looking forward to in 2026? How was 2025 for you? What do you want to do differently?

Best of 2025

The Blue Trio - I unwittingly fell in love with these movies and shows with Blue in their name. Blue Period and Blue Giant are about love for art and jazz. Both Yaguchi (Blue Period) and Miyamoto (Blue Giant) discover art and jazz in high school. They feel an immense pressure to keep up with prodigies of their time. Through the brute force of their effort and dedication, they power through tests, exams and auditions to go forward. The art and music are stunning. Both leave you touched and inspired. I complained about feeling dead and uninspired earlier, these two woke me up a little bit and fostered some enthusiasm.

Blue Period (2021)  & Blue Giant (2023)

And -

Perfect Blue (1997) by Satoshi Kon is in a league of its own. It inspired scenes from Aronofsky’s Black Swan and Requiem for a Dream. Mima, a J-Pop idol, gives up music to become an actress. Reality and hallucinations merge when she starts being stalked by an obsessed fan, is overwhelmed by upset fans, feels haunted visions of her past and gets caught in a chain of murders. This movie is brilliant and way ahead of its time.

Not ‘Blue’ but spectacular -

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019) - Marianne, a young painter, is commissioned to paint a portrait of a young woman named Héloïse before she is sent to Milan to get married. Héloïse has previously refused to pose for portraits and her mother asks Marianne to act as her companion and paint her portrait in secret. A bond forms between the two. It’s a very beautiful movie. Men can be seen for all of 5 (or less) minutes on screen, which was refreshing? I love anything Céline Sciamma makes.

Frieren : Beyond journey’s End (2023-24) - Frieren is one of my favorite shows of ALL TIME. Here’s something I wrote about it last year. It has complex characters, a deliciously slow pace, a stunning soundtrack, beautiful animation, and masterful storytelling. I love this show so much.

Lazarus Soundtrack (2025)

Also very good,

Romantics Anonymous (2025)

Heart the Lover by Lily King (2025)

Deadbeat (2025)

Millennium Actress (2001)

I hope you all had a great New Year and enjoyed your holidays.

Until next time,
S